The story starts many moons ago, after the blessed event of our marital union (how flippin cheese ball is THAT!?) Tim and I had planned to start a family together right away. Jake was 2 and at a perfect age to add a sibling, someone that he could grow up with, be best friends with, etc. After losing two pregnancies to miscarriage, one at an early 5wks and the next at a mind blowing 12wks we were faced with a very serious decision. Do we even try again? COULD we go through all of that pain, fear, and loss again? It was such a trial of our relationship, our commitment to each other as well as the way that we looked at ourselves. What were WE doing to cause this to happen? Our doctor thought that he had it figured out by that point. He felt that my body didn't make enough progesterone to carry a pregnancy to term and thought that with 14 wks of progesterone treatments we may just find ourselves becoming parents after all. We made a choice. We would try this new theory. We would test it - ONCE. If this didn't work we would go to the next step, whatever that might be, adoption, fostering, surrogacy - whatever. Happily the progesterone did the trick and 37 weeks later we had a beautiful baby daughter. I was over joyed to have gotten the gift of motherhood all over again but my family still did not feel complete. I had always wanted to have three children but going through everything we had been through was still way too fresh in our minds. I decided to get an IUD for 5 years and tried to put the third baby out of my mind. After Izzy was reaching the toddler years and then starting school I felt those feelings resurface. Tim and I talked and talked about it and went back and forth many times. We were so afraid of the what ifs but on the same token had had such amazing results from the progesterone treatments. FINALLY we made up our minds. We would try for a 3rd baby, again ONE time. If it was meant to be it would be and if not then we would know early on. We would go for progesterone treatments and hope for the best while being prepared for anything.
I had my IUD removed at the end of September 2010 and by the end of January we were pregnant! Immediately we got on progesterone and things seemed to be going pretty smooth. Once we were out of the woods (as they say) we decided to tell our family and friends the wonderful news of our new addition! After a sweltering hot summer and the normal aches and pains of pregnancy we were elated to get a date for our c section - September 30th we would begin the final chapter of our childbearing years. Bitter sweet to be sure. I love being pregnant (no, really, I do.) Of course I complained, and ached and had all the hormonal insurgences but that feeling of him moving, growing, and thriving inside of my body was such a miracle that I never took for granted with any of my children. I always felt so blessed to be able to experience that feeling, to put my hands on my belly and be able know that I was carrying a life, created out of love, friendship, laughter, light. I felt calm and happy and contented knowing that my babies were safe inside of me. Also I never feel prettier than when I am pregnant. I love my body, my womanhood, its so empowering.
Friday morning after a relatively peaceful nights sleep, as peaceful as you CAN sleep 183 months pregnant, (Daddy did not sleep quite as peacefully - as his nerves got the best of him) we woke up to a beautifully warm and sunny day. I was a little nervous because I don't do well with not eating breakfast (Low blood sugar is not my friend.) but we made it to EMMC right on time and ready to go! I was admitted to the 7th floor and the laboring room 724. I was so relaxed, I felt like if I had known how easy it would be to have the 3rd I would have done this years ago! I was reading my book and enjoying the anticipation until everyone started coming in and asking if I was ready to go. Then it all hit me like a ton of bricks! I was about to not only not be pregnant anymore but I would NEVER be pregnant again! I would NEVER experience those miraculous and empowering feelings again! I had a good cry for about 5 minutes and then I was fine. Tim, as always, was right by my side to reassure me and give me strength. I was about to meet our new baby boy, what did I have to cry about?! A nurse came in and walked me down to the OR while Daddy busily geared up in his jumpsuit, hat, mask and booties (looking like a baker). The anesthesiologists had a bit of trouble getting my spinal in and they had the coldest hands in the free world! By the time that sucker was in I was happy as a clam to get my chin off my chest and sprawl out on the operating table (FYI asking a woman who is 9 months pregnant to put her chin to her chest for an extended period of time is kind of like holding a pillow over the face of an innocent kitten.).
Once I was all numbed up and shivering they laid me down much too high up so my head was kind of hanging off of the table but they had already all jumped on me like seagulls on a french fry or that was a bit awkward they were shoving pillows under my head and everything was moving VERY fast! I all of a sudden got very nauseous and KNEW I was going to be sick...lets review, I can't feel anything from my armpits down my head is awkwardly propped up by pillows and I have a giant curtain an inch in front of my face...how in the hell was THIS going to work?!! I, not so calmly, informed the anesthesiologist of my predicament at which point she injected me with some kind of magic potion that brought my tanked blood pressure back up to a tolerable level and almost immediately I felt great again! In comes Tim and we just sat and waited excitedly. Now here is the point where the anesthesiologist asked Tim "do you want to stand up and look when they pull the baby out?" PAUSE - here is my 250lb husband sitting beside me nodding and drooling like a dog when you shake the bag of treats at him...ME, being the voice of reason reminds him that he does not do so well at the sight of blood...As in, we can't watch the Discovery Healthy channel - I am envisioning his 250lbs laid out on the cold floor while nurses stepped over him to get the baby to the incubator. He assured me everything would be fine and no sooner had he spoken those words than he got the word. "Here he comes Dad, go ahead and stand up!!!" Ask him today and he will tell you a little story about hind sight and all but at the moment, as he was about to quickly sit back down and desperately try to UN-see what he had just seen they grabbed him to go to the incubator where our little, screamer soon was given the nickname "Juicy" because he peed ALL over the OR and on all the nurses like 4 times! lol Tim did great, even cutting the umbilical cord!
I was calm cool and collected until he was out and then I just bawled and kept asking if he was OK. Finally, it seemed like hours, they brought Hendrix over to me and we got to get a couple of pictures of him with Tim and I. The whole time I was listening to Tony Bennett new CD and chatting with the nurses, I couldn't stop smiling, I was so excited to get to recovery where I knew I would be able to see my baby up close! They brought him to me in the recovery room where I got to nurse him for the first time. He was such a good latcher and I was SO relieved when he didn't spit up! (Izzy had GERD and would vomit entire feedings from day one) I got to hear all about the big kids getting to meet him and how excited they were! Over all it was such a great day! I had a really good hospital experience with Hendrix, the best of the three by far!
Now that we are in week 4 (today!) we are seeing so much personality coming out in Mr. Hendrix! He is smiling and cooing and lighting up my heart every day! We are getting the sleeping thing down, he has finally figured out night time is for sleeping and not crying/playing until the sun comes up! He usually only gets up once in the night which I can handle! He just loves his big brother and sister and I love how he follows them with his eyes when they are in the room. We had an appointment yesterday and he now weighs 8lbs 11oz and is 22inches long! He is growing SO fast that I am trying to keep up! I don't want to forget anything. I love doing this all over again despite the sleep deprivation! I hope that you all enjoy coming along on this adventure with me! <3
